Just wishin...

Just wishing my English grammar were somehow better. I teach English right now and my understanding of English grammar is awful. I think I know more about Spanish grammar to be honest. I have this big grammar book which I read but I can never remember exactly what the rules are, I know what sounds right. I know when something is just plain wrong, but trying to explain it all is another matter completely. All these people that come to study English, I wonder what they would think if they knew their teacher was just studying the same lesson to figure out what the hell it means shortly before class. Maybe it would be easier if I didn't know anything period, if there was nothing that I was knowledgeable about. Then I wouldn't have this feeling that I enjoy teaching, but that English just isn't the subject where I should be the one trying to lead the class...