Change

Damn it’s been a long time since I updated this blog. A lot has happened since I updated this blog. A period of pretty intense change has struck my life, some of it very welcome, some of it surprising but in the end probably positive and some just plain difficult and painful.

Some of the change is still coming and very good. I will get married later on this year. (Actually I still need the official date from the Municipal government here, but the registro civil continues on strike, grrrr). This is a positive change and one that is planned and welcomed.

Other changes are also brewing. I have been working for a year as a telecoms analyst, researching and writing in-depth market research reports on subjects like machine to machine technologies in Latin America, the rise of smartphones, prepaid vs postpaid mobile subscribers and WiMAX, etc. However the company downsized and rather quickly laid off almost half of its analysts, myself included. So this change has been unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome. Sure I will miss the stability and paycheck that this job provided. But it is also an immense opportunity to expand my focus to new areas and expand my craft past just writing. More to come on that one as it develops.

But then there are the changes that we all know will come to us one of these days but that are completely unwelcome and painful: the loss of loved ones. My father fought a long battle with cancer. First it appeared as colon cancer and after a major operation and intense chemo session he recovered. Then several years later it returned as prostrate cancer.

I remember when he told me about it, I almost left Chile right away. I think about now how different the last few years would’ve turned out had I done that. I stayed because he wanted me to continue with what I was doing and I didn’t feel finished. We communicated via email and video chat on a regular basis and all my free time I could muster was spent going back to the states to visit him.

In that time I managed to get into journalism as a reporter and then got the job as an analyst, which gave my father and I, who was a journalism professor for over 30 years not too mention an editor, photographer and writer in the past, a whole new dialogue. I never really thought that was the path I would go down when I came to Chile. But it worked its self out somehow. So despite the distance I think we were able to develop the relationship even a step further. Many people, especially Chileans, have really questioned why I would be in Chile if my father was fighting cancer. But this development of a common trade has put us closer in mind than we ever could’ve been had I moved physically closer to him by going home.

Over the last year (since August 2007), I have been able to make four trips home. I have been able to bring my Chilean fiancé Caro to Iowa City on three occasions now. The urgency that the cancer created really made it a priority to get home when it was possible, sometimes it was my job that brought me back, other times it was just to visit. I can honestly say that I think we made the most of it with the two and a half years that we had.

But of course we knew that there was a day coming where things would change, and like clockwork that day came, and we lost my father last month. I got to be there for that and share with my family. We had a great service for him, surrounded by the people he influenced over the years as a friend, father, teacher and advisor.

But now that I’m back in Chile, the full magnitude of these changes is becoming clear. I don’t fear it, as long as I’m being proactive in embracing new possibilities. In trying to develop my professional and personal selves actively and not dwelling too much on the weight of the situation.

And what better time to be back in Chile than in the spring time when the mountains are green and still have snow but the weather is nice?